


Music Again

by pendentivelover



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-19
Updated: 2013-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 04:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1089396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendentivelover/pseuds/pendentivelover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel Novak moves to Lawrence in an effort to leave his past behind him, but when he meets Dean Winchester, whose relationship with Michael Milton comes to an abusive impasse, Castiel finds that the memories will always follow him.</p><p>Written for a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Music Again

**Author's Note:**

> A friend of mine gave me a prompt: pre-established Dean/Michael when Cas comes into the picture, based off the song Music Again by Adam Lambert.

Castiel groaned, climbing out of the front seat. Smoke was seeping out from under the hood of his car, and, as he unlatched and raised the hood, he had to wave his hand back and forth in front of his face to not breath in the fumes. Taking a few steps back, Castiel crossed his arms and glared at the car, then sighed. It wasn’t completely unexpected; one of his main concerns with moving to Lawrence had been whether or not the old station wagon could survive the trip. The only real inconvenience was that it was getting late. 

“Hey, you need some help?” Castiel looked up, not having heard the truck come up the road. A man with shoulder length hair leaned out the window, his eyes bright and friendly. Castiel huffed out a small breath and nodded. 

“I would appreciate that.” The man nodded and drove down the road a ways before turning around and pulling off the road in front of Castiel’s dead car. He seemed to stumble out of the vehicle, his legs too long, and he approached Castiel with a hand outstretched. 

“Name’s Sam.” The man introduced himself as they shook hands. Castiel responded in kind and thanked him for stopping. “It’s not a problem. That’s one beater of a car you got.” 

“Yes. I’m surprised it made it this far.” Castiel replied as Sam bent over the engine. “I had it checked over before I started this trip, but even they told me it was on its last legs.” Sam stood back up. 

“I’ll say, but I’m no expert. I can give you a lift into Lawrence, and I’ll have my brother come pick her up. He works at a garage and can probably help you out more than I can.” Sam lowered the hood and let it fall into place. “Lawrence wouldn’t happen to be where you’re headed, is it?” 

“It is, and that isn’t necessary. I don’t wish to inconvenience you.” Sam laughed and shook his head. 

“Nah, man. I’ve been in your shoes a few times, trust me. Helping people out is never an inconvenience.” Castiel allowed himself a smile and nodded. After retrieving his backpack with the more essential of his belongings, he climbed into the passenger side of Sam’s truck.

Castiel answered Sam’s questions as best he could, finding that he was more curious rather than trying to be prying. His admission that his older brother had leaned on him until he’d given in to attending the University of Kansas prompted Sam’s empathy, and Castiel learned that Dean hadn’t cared about Sam going to college, just that he went to the one closest to home. In fact, according to Sam, other than his girlfriend, Dean had been his staunchest supporter, even going to head to head with their father when Sam had made the decision. Castiel had to smile at that. His brother Gabriel had done something similar, though it had nothing to do with college. 

As they pulled into the parking lot of the apartment building, Castiel once again thanked Sam, who assured him that his car would be taken care of. They exchanged cell numbers before Castiel exited the truck and made his way to the apartment he’d be living in for the next two years. He picked up the key from under the mat where the landlord had told him it’d be and let himself in. 

The smell of bleach and stale air assaulted him, and Castiel sighed, his shoulders slumping as he let his backpack slide to the floor. He suddenly missed the smoky atmosphere of his old life, even if he’d never had the guarantee of a roof over his head. He shook himself, digging his phone out of his pocket and sending a text off to let his brother know he’d made it, then he toured the apartment. There was a note on the refrigerator. 

Hey, little bro. Stopped by to stock your fridge, so don’t forget to eat. Lemme know when you get in. - G

Castiel stared at it for a few moments before shaking his head, and, foregoing food, he crawled into bed and drifted off into a restless sleep. 

-

If he was being honest, Castiel didn’t know what he expected from college life. Perhaps students diligently going to and from class and studying in groups at the library or cafeteria. But he realized on his way to meet Gabriel that he’d had a very skewed idea of college, and he thought maybe it wasn’t as bad as his old friends had led him to believe. 

He knew he hadn’t expected the group surrounding his brother to be a colorful menagerie of musicians. They were gathered on the other side of the quad from where he stood, but he couldn’t quite convince himself to move just yet. At the center of the group, Gabriel sat crosslegged on the ground with his guitar resting on a thigh, talking animatedly. 

Their mother had held her breath when Gabriel had shown an interest in music, but he’d been lured away, as she put it, by the gritty sound of rock and roll. Castiel recalled the hours he’d spent listening to his older brother teaching himself guitar, but their mother’s hand was stricter on the youngest of her sons. She’d put him through lessons with the violin, piano, and several other classical instruments, all of which he was thankful for. And, despite the recent changes in his life, he’d never forget the swell of pure adulation that came with each note or the solace he’d found in it, but some dreams were self-destructive. 

“Cassie!” Gabriel shouted as he made it halfway to the group, and Castiel felt himself turning red, even as his brother launched himself from the ground and bear hugged him. He returned the embrace halfheartedly, still unsure of where they stood; Gabriel had all but bullied him into this arrangement, and Castiel had said a few choice things to him that he regretted. But Gabriel didn’t appear to be nonplussed and genuinely ecstatic about his arrival. 

“Introductions!” Gabriel exclaimed, one of his hands resting on Castiel’s shoulder as the other swept around dramatically, then he began pointing at each of his friends. “The redhead is Anna, plays a mean flute. This is Chuck, won’t play anything other than the harmonica. That charming fellow is Balthazar. Believe it or not, but he plays saxophone. The blonde is Jessica. She plays a moose.” 

“Stop it.” Jessica chastised around a smile as she turned her eyes on Castiel. “Ignore him. I play the violin.” Castiel smiled in reply, then Gabriel patted his shoulder.

“This is my baby brother, Castiel, and he can play pretty much any instrument he puts his hands on.” Gabriel was grinning as his friends nodded appreciatively, and Castiel glared at him, a look that Gabriel caught. He stuck his tongue out in reply, then turned back to his friends, his features drawing up apologetically. “Alas, he’s sworn off music, but, please, accept his blasphemous soul into your hearts.” Castiel rolled his eyes and was glad to see that he wasn’t the only one. Jessica scooted over on the bench and gestured for him to sit next to her. 

“You’re brother’s an idiot, even on a good day.” She told him as he sat down. Gabriel started to speak, but he was drowned out by Chuck’s shrill harmonica; Gabriel sat down, looking affronted as Anna gave Chuck a high-five. 

“Traitor.” Gabriel muttered, though Castiel knew better than to believe he was angry. 

Castiel didn’t speak often, content to just listen to the group as they talked, and, though he hadn’t played anything for months now, there was a small and distant hum of the familiar passion he had for the art. Questions were occasionally aimed at him; Anna asked him if he’d be willing to take any music courses, and, if so, please take Music Theory, because she sucked at it. That prompted a discussion between Jessica and Balthazar about the psychology of music depending on genre and whether or not metal really was a cause for tendencies towards physical violence. It seemed to be a common thing between them as their three companions paid no attention. 

The contrast between Gabriel’s friends and the friends he’d had in Boston beat back and forth in his mind. Meg had been his introduction into the world of fast and hard rhythm, music loud enough to drown out the pain, and then they’d met Alistair and Ruby, who had shown them what to do with the money they earned from their street performances. They’d done a lot of things to get that adrenaline rush. Castiel cringed from the memory, rubbing his arms subconsciously. 

Castiel looked up to find Gabriel watching him, and a pang of guilt traipsed through him. He had no idea how he’d ever be able to convey how grateful he really was to Gabriel. 

“Sam!” Jessica’s voice echoed in his ears, pulling him from his thoughts. Looking up, he was startled to find the same Sam who’d helped him the night prior. Jessica pounced on him as he neared, and Anna slide to the ground next to Chuck to make room for him. He peered at Castiel over Jessica’s shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“Hey, Castiel.” He said as soon as they’d sat down. 

“Sam.” Castiel nodded in acknowledgment, growing uncomfortable as everyone stared at him. 

“Dean said you’d be better off getting a new car. That’s the censored version, of course.” Sam said, his smile growing to split his face. Cas nodded again, thoughtfully this time, having already expected that answer. He wasn’t sure how he’d afford another one, but he didn’t really think it would be necessary; his apartment wasn’t all that far from campus, and he could use the exercise. 

“What happened to your car?” Gabriel asked, his voice a little stiff. Castiel sighed.

“It broke down about a mile out. Sam stopped and offered me a ride.” He turned to Sam. “Can your brother get it running long enough to make it to my apartment?” Sam seemed to weigh something in his mind, but still looked a bit dubious. 

“You and Dean could always tow it to his apartment.” Jessica said lightly, staring up at Sam, whose face brightened at her suggestion. 

“We can do that. That’ll take care of any concerns we have.” 

“Yeah, I can’t see Dean letting anyone in a car he doesn’t deem safe.” Anna added as she stood up, ruffling Chuck’s hair. “Well, I hate to deprive you sheltered kids of my presence, but I have a girlfriend I have to go meet.” Gabriel caught her sleeve with a grin. 

“Tell Bela not to leave bruises where we can see them. You’re just reminding the rest of us how empty our lives are.” 

“Except for these two.” Chuck said, pointing at Sam and Jessica and not bothering to look up from his phone. 

“And by empty, he means no sex.” Balthazar asserted from where he’d laid out on the sidewalk. He caught Castiel’s gaze and winked, and Castiel flushed red, matching the two lovebirds next to him. Anna laughed. 

“I wouldn’t have believed you had trouble with that.” She nudged at Balthazar’s ribs with her foot, and he chuckled. 

“Turns out, women get a little upset when they’re not your one and only. And the men get angry at my love of women.”

“You’re a hedonist.” 

“You’re not saying anything new, darling.” 

-

Later that day, Gabriel sat in the recliner in Castiel’s apartment with his feet tucked up under him; he was strumming thoughtfully at his guitar, a habit that he’d had since he’d learned to play. Castiel tried to ignore him from his position on the floor, staring at the array of textbooks that sat in front of him. He’d been enrolled in twelve credit hours of basic core courses, which left him free on Mondays and Fridays, and, despite Gabriel’s protests, he planned on getting a job to fill the extra free time he’d have. Castiel didn’t want any time to himself, and, as he pointed out to Gabriel, he’d had his fill of free time at the hospital their parents had dropped him in. 

“You’re going to be okay, you know?” Castiel looked up at his brother to find him staring at the floor, soft notes coming from the guitar. He opened his mouth to reply, but swallowed anything he could have said and nodded. Gabriel raised his head and looked at him, and Castiel the worry written on his face. “What happened in Boston was not your fault, and this is a clean slate for you, okay? That’s the last thing I’m going to say about it, but if you ever need to talk…” He stared very meaningfully at Castiel, who could only nod. 

“Thank you.” He said and was thankful that Gabriel left the conversation at that as he began playing in earnest, though Castiel didn’t recognize the chords. He went back to looking at his books, finally picking up one for his literature course. He and Gabriel had agreed on two years probation in order to get his life back together. Whether or not he stayed in college at the end of that was up to Castiel, but he understood that Gabriel wanted him close enough to keep an eye on. Castiel harbored a paralyzing fear of falling back into his old habits and addictions, and he just hoped that the six month detox the hospital had put him through had worked. 

His phone buzzed on the floor next to him. Closing the textbook, he retrieved it and looked at the message from Sam. 

Dean and I are headed your way. 

“Mr. Moose Tracks on his way?” Gabriel asked, setting his guitar aside and standing up to stretch. Castiel replied with another thank you and sat the phone aside, letting his head fall back on the cushion of the sofa. 

“Why do you call him that?” He closed his eyes, willing the oncoming headache to go away.

“’Cause it got on Jess’ nerves for the longest time. Now, it’s just kinda stuck.” Gabriel explained before padding into the kitchen and grabbing a soda. “I put some advil in the cabinet in the bathroom if you need it.” He said as he came back in to find Castiel pressing his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose. He shook his head.

“I’ll be alright.” Gabriel shrugged and picked his guitar back up. 

Twenty minutes later, Castiel saw a tow truck with his station wagon attached to it pull into the parking lot. Grabbing the apartment building decal for the rearview mirror, he headed outside with Gabriel on his heels. Sam grinned as he clambered out of the passenger side and waved; blinking several times, Castiel managed to not stare at Sam’s older brother as he got out of the truck and walked around. Though they were obviously related, Dean and Sam were night and day, the elder seeming to have a permanent scowl on his strong features. He was broad shouldered and bowlegged, all muscles and tan skin; the area of cloth between his shoulder blades was dark with sweat, and Castiel tried very hard not to look at the streak of car grease that ran along one cheekbone. 

It didn’t take long for the brothers to settle the station wagon, and Sam took the decal from Castiel without question and deposited it in the vehicle. Heart thudding loudly in his ears, he shook Dean’s hand as Sam introduced them. 

“I really appreciated both of you going out of your way like this.” He managed to say, but, like his younger brother, Dean waved off the comment. 

“Just say you’ve given up on her, and we’ll call it even.” The offhand comment shocked a smile from Castiel, and he nodded.

“Yes, I believe I can agree on that.” He wondered if he’d looked half as miserable as his car did before Gabriel had shown up at the hospital. Castiel grimaced at the memory; Gabriel had made a good show for the doctor and nurses, but, after they’d been left alone, they’d had what Gabriel referred to as the pivotal emotional breakdown that sealed the relationship between the participants of almost any drama. It would have been sealed regardless, considering Gabriel was all he had left. 

“So, there’s a group of us going to the Roadhouse tonight. You two should come.” Sam was saying, automatically trying to brush the hair out of his face. Gabriel looked at him suspiciously.

“By group, you mean who?” 

“Well, Jess, of course. And I think she texted Anna, so she and Bela might show up. Benny and Victor for sure. And Jo is working tonight, so we’ll have to be on our best behavior, otherwise she’ll kill us.” Sam rattled off, counting people off on his fingers. Castiel chanced a glance at Dean, who was stone-faced as he looked at his phone. He flipped it open and walked away, putting it to his ear. Sam and Gabriel watched as well, before Gabriel looked back at the taller man.

“Is Michael going?” Castiel’s attention perked up at the disgust in Gabriel’s voice; it wasn’t often that Gabriel disliked someone, but, from the look on Sam’s face, it was warranted.

“Not that I know of, but he’s good for showing up when he’s not wanted. Dean’s been ignoring his calls…” He glanced over his shoulder as Dean’s voice carried from the truck. “Well, he was.” 

“What’s going on this time?” Gabriel grated out, but Sam only shrugged.

“I don’t know, man. Dean won’t talk about it. You know how the macho, suffer-in-silence types are.” Gabriel chuckled at that, his hard expression faltering as he clapped Castiel on the back.

“That I do. Got one of my own.” Sam gave him a curious look before Dean walked back over to them. 

“Hey, Sammy. Can you catch a ride with Gabriel and Cas?” Dean’s expression was blank, but Sam bristled.

“What are you doing, Dean?” 

“He just wants to talk.”

“Talk? The last time he just wanted to talk, you ‒”

“That’s enough, Sammy, okay? I’ll see you at Ellen’s.” Dean didn’t leave any room for further argument as he shoved playfully at Sam’s shoulder and walked off, pulling out of the parking lot a few moments later. 

Sam followed them up to Castiel’s apartment, still fuming. Castiel had wanted to beg off and have Gabriel deliver his excuses or whatever college students did. His curiosity was getting the better of him, but it wasn’t his place to ask questions, especially not about the love life of a friend’s brother. He found he worried more about whether or not he could consider Sam as a friend after only knowing him for almost twenty-four hours. His friendship with Meg had happened considerably faster since she’d been high when she’d pulled him onto the club’s dance floor; then they had become inseparable. He shook himself again, focusing on the conversation between Gabriel and Sam.

“‒ heard rumors about that. I’m not sure any of us ever thought it was true though.” Gabriel said as leaned against the counter in the kitchen. Sam sat on a stool, stretch his legs out to the side. Castiel stood awkwardly in the entryway, leaning against the frame. 

“I didn’t think so at first, but having to take him to the hospital for a broken arm pretty much confirmed it.” Castiel felt a chill run down his spine; he shifted a bit, Gabriel glancing at him once before speaking.

“Wouldn’t have pegged Dean as the type to let himself be beat on.” He said it as if the concept was foreign, and Sam flushed, sitting up straighter on the stool. 

“There’s much more to it than that.” Castiel muttered, and he bit his lip as Sam and Gabriel looked at him. He cleared his throat, shaking his head, and retreated to the bathroom. 

Splashing water on his face, he tried to ease the tension from his shoulders. He wouldn’t have blinked at the idea prior to the events in Boston, but the thought of Dean, or anyone, being abused sparked a cold fury in him now.

When he returned to the kitchen, Gabriel was watching him cautiously, but Castiel redirected the conversation by asking Sam about the Roadhouse. It was the right move, and he learned that the Roadhouse was a beer and burger joint complete with pool tables. It was owned by Ellen Harvelle, a friend of their Uncle Bobby’s, and Castiel let the stories and the laughter they induced wash over him. 

-

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I initially came up with for the prompt, and I would like to add to it eventually. If there are any other tags I should add, please let me know.


End file.
